Okay, I am at the fine line between calm/collected and a complete wreck. Tom, my DH, has been laid off for almost 4 months this year already. We're down to the last few dollars and wondering what God has instore for us.
I am finding myself thinking of anything in our beautiful house we can sell. We just put a freeze on our Golds Gym account and can't go for 3 months to save money there. I am reasearching the web all morning to find that we have too much to qualify for most assistance, but we can get Medical Assistance, Energy Assistance, Food Shelf items, and we're on the MN WIC program. Now what?
For the first time in 7 years, I've began looking for jobs again with a less impressive resume than before. I am capable of working, but I am not sure it is the right thing for our family.
Tom is getting ready to buy a passport to go work in Canada for the next 3 months. Fine, that's income and benefits, but he'll miss out on my two girls birthdays (will be ages 6 and 1), miss out on other family gatherings and special moments together. And I, someone who is already in a depressed state will not be getting any better this way. I literally need Tom to make it through the day. It's just a really sad and stressful day.
On top of this, I have to save face and keep life as normal as possible for the kids. I am working on our home school group's yearbook which is a real task and is taking up several hours every day this past week and will probably take 3 hours a day for the next week to complete it. I was supposed to attend my 10 year high school reunion in August, but we cannot afford it - all expenses on the table will cost over $100 to attend. And if Tom isn't here to join me, I wouldn't want to go anyways. Aaaaaaaaagggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!
It's just one of those I want to crawl back into bed and start over days. But I don't think the second try will be any better.
So what do I do, whenever this happens (yes, it's happened before). I can only trust in God and do my best to hear his call. A friend, Karla, urged me today to pray the St. Joseph Novena, Litany, and Memorare. Tom is also praying the Prayers for Employment.
So, if you happen to read this - PRAY FOR US! And if you happen to have ideas or resources for us to find jobs, assistance, or just cold hard cash - send 'em this way!