Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Needing some help!

Okay, ahead of time - there is no real flow to this blog because my mind is jumping from one thought to the next as I try to finish my homeschool instruction at the same time...

Well, my son Stanley is a special kind of child. I like to say he's the trouble maker caught between two princesses. He loves his cars and tractors and finding new ways to make a mess. Typical boy things. But he has a great feminine influence here at home, and now were trying to integrate him into our formal homeschool life.

On his Papa's tractor on the family farm.

Somedays, I wonder how boyish he really is. How much influence are us girls having over him? The dressing up in Mikayla's girly dressup clothes instead of the boy ones I bought. The playing dollies, barbies, and kitchen I've looked over - because it's just what is all around, and I have no reason to stop him. He even screams like a girl. He can be very feminine somedays.

Stanley in huggies box, wearing a leotard, and singing with his sister.

But today, I just couldn't swallow my pride and help a little boy have fun. All he wanted to do was play, but all I wanted him to do was sit and learn the things I think he should know.

I have tried so hard these past two weeks to help him learn something new in Pre-K as a 4 year old. He knows kind of how to sing the alphabet, he can count to 10, and he knows colors and shapes. So we're trying this handwriting without tears program, and I can't make it past drawing straight lines. Whenever I teach him something, he just looks up and has this blank look on his face. I tell him to look at what he's doing, he just looks back up with that blank look again. I couldn't stand it today, I just told him to go play. But I know he wants to learn, I know he can learn, he just doesn't want to - I think.

I did remember I could try to have him draw lines and shapes with his fingers in whip cream, sand or something like that. Maybe he needs more stimulation? He absolutely loves puzzles, he can even put them together upside down. He seems to comprehend everything I am saying, by the answers he gives me. So the brain is all there, and he's not adhd or anything like that.

We have tried for about 1 1/2 years to potty train him. He knows how to do it, but he just doesn't want to. Going pee-pee is actually not to bad if we remember to ask him, but poopin on the toilet is just not going to happen! And if it wasn't bad enough to change a baby's diaper, to add a 4-year old's butt to the day just isn't my thing. He insists he doesn't have to go, he thinks his pull ups are just as good as diapers, and then he hides and makes his mess. AGH! What to do??? We've done many rewards systems, you have no idea! Just when we thought we had it after a week of dry, we got busy with birthday party plans for his sister, and boom - no more interest whatsoever!

So do I simply let him take off one more year before formalizing anything? Is he just at the average stage for a 4 year old boy? Or is there something else I should be doing, or is something wrong? Do I need to simplify school for him? I am just at a loss for ideas, it often seems easier to just let him do his own thing, and assume he'll let me know when he's ready.


Note: I just reserved some I Spy books at the Library for him. Any other book recommendations for him are more than welcome! Preferably, something he can sit and do himself while I work with Mikayla.

God Bless you and yours!


  1. i really like some "patternables" i got at www.lovetolearn.net - it's here: https://www.lovetolearn.net/catalog/product/0991001

    i bought cookie sheets for them to use instead of the "sheets" they come with - the cookie sheets just work better [stronger].

    some other things i'm implementing for my littles:
    let them pour rice from a pitcher into a cup; again let them work on a tray.
    Buy some colored wooden beads - have them separate the colors or pick out certain colors by putting them little bowls. or have them separate big beads from little beads.
    i also bought some big chunky plastic beads for stringing and they string them on a long cord string.
    have him work on buttoning a coat or zipping up a jacket [these things will keep him busy]
    www.montessorimaterials.org also has some neat/free printables.

    hope this helps some - I've just started some of these things yesterday :o)

  2. Hey Melissa

    About the potty training. I have another friend who's 5 yr old boy will not go poo-poo in the potty and her husband is a Medical Dr. You would think the expert would know. She is also pulling out her hair. She has tried every trick.

    I just think some kids take time.

  3. I'm a firm believer in letting every child learn at their own pace, not at the pace we want for them. You made a comment wondering if he was boyish enough. I'm going to email you an interesting article I read the other day about "Hands-on Boys".

  4. I say get out those manipulatives, get his hands strong and busy. Playdough, legos, anything to build with, lincoln logs, sorting, lacing, plain paper/scratch paper, crayons/markers etc...

    Poopie is hard for those boys.


Thank you for reading about our family. I look forwards to sharing ideas, joys and struggles. God Bless you in your journey!


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